Relationships are hard work! They aren’t easy to maintain and if you don’t know the signs that things are in trouble you may be in for a shocking surprise when things seem to suddenly end. Sometimes it becomes obvious that you are nearing the end of your relationship but sometimes things are a little bit more subtle.
If you pay attention to the signals you may be able to save your relationship. If you are noticing any of these things in your current relationship it may be time to start planning your exit strategy or making the decision to try to save things before the inevitable end.
1. Date night is no fun
If you have experienced the downfall of date night then you know what we’re talking about. Imagine that you are super excited for your scheduled date night but as you are hanging out with your partner you get the feeling that they are just trying to survive the evening so they can get through the date. If you feel a sense a dread being around your partner or you get the feeling that they feel that way around you it’s a sure sign that the end is near.
2. You stop sharing
If you have to try to pull big news out of your partner then it’s time to find a new partner. If you have stopped sharing things that would be considered big news with each other then what’s the point of being together. If you find yourself constantly stumbling upon big news that your partner should ‘want’ to share with you then it is time to make a change. If you didn’t know that your significant other just got promoted then the new job might not be the only thing they are looking to change in the future.
3. You stop being invited to places
This is a telltale sign that things are in serious trouble. Do you remember when your relationship started and you used to do everything together? You would go out with each other and a group of friends. If your significant other would rather spend all of their time going out with their friends it might be a signal that they would rather spend time with anyone other than you. If you stop being invited to go out as a couple it may be time to sit down and discuss some deeper issues.
If the best thing that you like about your relationship is that it makes things easier then it’s time for you to go. If convenience is the number one best thing the two of you have then things are going to not be so convenient in the near future. Look at it this way. If it’s easier for you to stay together because all of your ‘stuff’ is at their house then you might want to invest a bit of time packing your things up and getting the heck out of there. This will not end well. Trust us.
5. Things are good when they are good
If the only time that you feel like things in your relationship are going in the right direction is when you both are happy then you might need to reevaluate things. Of course, you feel great about things when everything is running smoothly but it’s during the tough times that you can truly test the strength of your relationship. Another thing to consider is that you may go through feelings of guilt and anxiety during those periods when you are feeling stressed out. If your relationship is strong you can get through things together.
6. Forgetting important dates
If you or your significant other have a problem remembering important dates like birthdays or anniversaries then your relationship needs some assistance before it’s too late. If you can’t be bothered to remember their birthday it’s probably safe to say that you don’t really care too much about that person to begin with. Sure everyone forgets once in a while but if you have more important things on your mind than remembering what date your relationship began then you should most likely find a new relationship with someone who it will matter for you to remember these things.
7. Constantly trying to change yourself
Change and adaptability are important but they should be a shared goal in any relationship. If you are always feeling the pressure to try to change yourself because you ‘think’ it will make your partner happy something might be a little off in your current relationship. Of course, it’s good to try and better yourself for the sake of your relationship but if your significant other constantly makes your fell that you aren’t good enough then you might be with the wrong person.
8. Long term plans
If you or your partner don’t want to plan for things that will happen down the road then things might not be going so well for you in this relationship. If your partner won’t make commitments for anything further than a few weeks down the road then this is probably going to be a short-term relationship that you should try to excavate yourself from as soon as possible. If you can’t get a commitment to go on a weekend getaway next month the chances of spending any significant amount of time in this relationship probably aren’t too good.
9. Waiting for things to change
If you have a list of reasons why your relationship will be better at some point in the future instead of right now then it may be time to take a hard look at your situation. IF you constantly find yourself saying things like, “Things will be better when…” you are heading down a path to eventual failure. If you can’t find reasons why things are good right now then you’ve got some tough work to do. Why would you want to ‘wait’ for things to be better? There are always going to be stressful situations so it’s important to find a partner that you can work through the tough times together with.
10. Everyone else starts to look better
If you start seeing every person you come across as being more attractive than the person you are with then things aren’t heading in the right direction. Everyone likes to look once in a while but if you are constantly finding yourself staring at other people and thinking how attractive they are and how great it would be to be in a relationship with them then you probably are with the wrong person, to begin with.